Tell Me On A Sunday – Marti Webb.

I could have gone with Lazy Sunday – but those are a thing of the past and before the ‘told you so’ brigade pipe up – yes we knew that this would be another aspect of our lives that children would change.For the most part I like it kept as a family day -whether we all go out together or a potter about the house day like today.

75% of the household are still on ‘Dry January’ – Daddy Simon was still feeling a bit under the weather so it was just yours truly that lapsed. Carefully measured out the first one out but just sloshed the second one into the glass as the final tantrum of the day raged on around me.

Anyway can’t really say that I enjoyed it that much when I know that Daddy Simon was (not so) secretly judging me.

Back to Sunday morning. I usually get a wee bit of a lie in – Daddy Simon doesn’t do sleep the way I do – I could win medals – and so he will get up when Nursery FM starts broadcasting at a level that the neighbours may find unacceptable. If I stir – it’s lovely to have a bit of a stretch and then snuggle back down for a bit. I know that I’m going to have to deal with a kitchen that looks like North Korea has been missile testing in but the duvet whispers sweet nothings and I drift off again. Mmmmmmmmmmm…

Don’t get me wrong it’s not a lie in until lunch time – I usually go down and greet my public between eight and nine. By the time I’ve picked my way through the wreckage strewn across the floor Daddy Simon is on the case and it won’t be long before I have a hot cup of coffee in my hand. Then the fun begins. Our little charges are at there most exuberant first thing in the morning.They want cuddles with Daddy Graeme and will chatter excitedly about what they’ve had for breakfast and what they have planned for the day ahead. No they don’t – they climb all over me – shouting that my Batman mug is “ot” but still trying to grab at it nonetheless. Pyjama pants don’t offer much protection south of the waistband so there’s a fair bit of wriggling to avoid having ‘the boys’ stomped on by a carelessly placed foot and the “ot” mug is still pretty full so there’s every chance that if they survive being trampled they’ll end up being scalded. Safety first – let’s put the coffee down and enjoy the company of our children. Of course they beggar off in search of another challenge and so I’ll take this opportunity to check lottery tickets. I usually like to put this off for a bit and enjoy the fantasy that our six numbers have come up… Can’t find my mobile phone. I’ve hidden out of sight of the minions and now I can’t remember where. It’s probably still on silent from the night before – so no point in phoning it. (The most commonly dialled number from our landline is my mobile number.)Its fallen out of my pyjama pocket during my ‘sofa salsa’ to protect my bajingas but Frick and Frack are back on my case so I have to hide it again. By this time a live-in nanny has rocketed to the top of what I’d spend our lottery money on and where the Mary J Blige has Daddy Simon disappeared to?

Definitely time to get this show on the road. Daddy Simon has dressed the kiddiewinks so that’s something less to be done. We’ll come back to HOW he dresses them in a later blog. It’s nearly nap time so we’ll have a quick game of ‘let’s put some of the toys away ‘ but they’re picketing the cupboard that the morning biscuits are in so I’m the the only participant.Damn, I’m good at this game. We’re still trying to phase milk bottle out so morning milk is served in a sippy cup and it’s very much and hit or miss affair. Little Miss Fussy is taking more convincing than her more compliant brother. Stern warnings of ” If you wake up hungry it’s your own fault.” fall on blatantly disinterested ears and with that we dither on up the stairs for morning nap. I seriously consider having one myself but reckon that I could probably get quite a few things done between now and afternoon nap so I recharge my Batman mug with an “ot” coffee and enjoy an “ot” shower.

Now if I give the lounge a good clean that’s the whole ground floor done and it wasn’t even written up on ‘ Kitchen White Board’. Stinky Henry is pressed into action( Thanks Lisa – Zoflora is on the shopping list.) He doesnt seem to reek as much in a room that smells so ‘sunshiny’ fresh and I’ve found the missing bits from the kiddie’s tea set stashed behind the TV and in the fireplace. I close the door on a clean,fresh smelling room to find Cat looking up at me expectantly – open door and allow old Fuzzy Felt to go in and cast cat hair all over freshly vacuumed sofa.

Well look at that – someone’s woken up hungry and is not afraid to shout about it. Despite putting oven on to preheat in plenty of time – I’d forgotten to put their lunch INTO the oven – so we’re running a bit behind. I read a bit of the Acorn Wood blockbuster ‘Pig Plays Hide And Seek’ remember that I’ve not done anything about dinner for Daddy Simon and I so I leave out the last page,throw a shoulder of pork in the slow cooker and let them draw their own conclusions. I sing a bit of ‘The Circle of Life ‘ just to help them along with the plot.I have to delegate lunch time supervisory duties to Daddy Simon because I realise that I’ve googled a recipe for slow cooked pork and bought ingredients required but now can’t find the recipe that I originally googled so I have an assortment of spices and sauces and a not so well hidden bit of pig. Google offers another suggestion. I ignore the ingredients list and make do with what I’ve got and carefully follow the method. I prep more potatoes and vegetables than is probably required in case the pork is inedible and channel my energies into making a delicious lunch for Daddy Simon and I.

Calder has finished his lunch and is all about helping Daddy Graeme clear up in the kitchen. He’s so happy tinkering about with a measuring spoon and a tin plate from the play tea set that he is completely oblivious to his sister’s frustration that she doesn’t have one. She is given the next measurement spoon up which she has a quick look at,casts aside and goes on to list her reasons why she should have the one that Calder has. He’s not giving it up,moves his wee chair so that he’s got his back to her and continues tucking into the imaginary culinary delights on his plate. We all head up the stairs for an afternoon nap at about half past three. Alexandra is still griping about something or other – might be Brexit – might be the temperature that her lunch was served at but it’s something that she is deeply vexed about. Wee Calder is just so excited that measuring spoon and tin plate are allowed to come to bed with him and Daddy Simon has expressed how much he’s looking forward to having pork crackling as we haven’t had it for ages.Daddy Graeme is thinking ” Well you’d best get your ass down to the Co-op for a packet” and remembers where he saw the original recipe for the Slow Cooked Pork.

Sunday Bloody Sunday – U2 My favourite boys ❤️

Me and my favourite girl.💖Pushkin loves a lazy Sunday afternoon.