Bad Influence – Pink.

In the interests of getting this started and published today as per my plan I’m kicking off without a title so if I seem to go off piste a bit it’s because I’ve thought of something and I’m then trying to work it into the story.
I got so carried away with writing last night that we ended up having a Dominoes for dinner – at least we abstained from wine and it was so late that neither of us had the desire for anything sweet afterwards – that counts as a good result in my book. Also the pizza was a thin crust so I think that makes it a slimline.
Pre-seven o’clock start today. There are some mornings that we waken to hear Alexandra chattering away to herself or sampling a mash up of ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ and ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ which can be quite a sweet start to the day. However this morning Calder had lobbed Marmite the Monkey out of the cot and then decided that it was an action that he hadn’t fully thought through and was loudly seeking a bit of assistance in rectifying the matter. Of course Alexandra was awake too so no-one was going back to bed. As breakfast seemed to be going pretty smoothly I decided to juggle things about a bit and take advantage of the early start and see if I could squeeze in a quick trip to Tesco’s before pushing on over to Twins Club at ten. I leave Daddy Simon in charge and get showered, shaved and dressed. I select suitably co-ordinated outfits for the kiddies and return downstairs and try and catch one of them to dress in – hopefully – the right outfit. Now Cbeebies has made an appearance in this house of late.My thoughts on this matter will feature in a future post – but for now all you need to know is that I need to have everything and everyone ready and out the door before ‘Justin’s House’ starts at 0835 or I’ll not get either prised off the sofa easily.Dressing Calder some mornings can be like trying to get an oiled up,un-co-operative octopus into a lycra cat-suit and I have considered utilising duct tape on more than one occasion. Alexandra can be a little more compliant but it will depend on the size of the item that she has decided she MUST hold the entire time that I’m dressing her. A DUPLO brick presents no problem – the washing up bowl is a bit more of a challenge and harsh words are often exchanged. Shoes and jackets create enough of a diversion to get the TV switched off and before you know it we’re all in the car and ready to go. I fire up Gloria, our trusty wagon, and back her out the driveway in amongst the fray of abandoned 4×4’s that litter the street at this time of day – I’ll be covering ‘School Run Mums’ in a couple of days too – and weave my way out onto the main road.

Now some of you may have noticed that I avoid using naughty words in my ramblings but I’m no paragon of virtue in this department. However,both daddies are trying really hard to be careful what is said in front of impressionable little people now. So when a silver Ford Focus comes in off the main carriageway at a speed that brings them well over onto my side of the road I blast the horn, flash the lights and shout “TWIT!” as they rectify back onto the left hand side. “TWIT!!!!!” is repeated from the back seat from a very earnest looking Calder. Its very hard not to snigger which means of course that I’m not looking as indignantly righteous as I would have liked as the offending vehicle passes us.


Despite it being rush hour it only takes about ten minute to get to the local Tesco. We’re early enough to bag a Parent and Child parking spot right outside the store and I can spot a double trolley right away. Me and my little charges buy our winning lottery tickets at the kiosk and then commence our odyssey up and down the aisles fulfilling the list that Alexandra as taken control of. Calder gives us a running commentary/possibly requests as we go along. “Beans!” is very clear as is “Bananas”. I understand that “beeberries” mean blueberries and “omato” are Tomatoes. Unfortunately my fellow shoppers understand exactly what he means when he bellows ” DADDY’S JUICE !!!!” as we turn into the wines and spirits aisle. ( I needed a small bottle of sherry for a recipe and it was thriftier to buy the litre – OK!)

As I pack up I consider getting a coffee and maybe a wee treat for myself at the Harris and Hoole concession on our way out but I get distracted by Alexandra unpacking what I’ve just packed and so head straight back to the car, load up and crack on up to Twins club – almost on time.

We all seem to enjoy our Wednesday mornings at Twins Club. Alexandra always takes a bit longer to get in amongst it all than Calder. I’m assured that Daddy Simon was the very same when he was of a similar age. As I mingled among the other parents trying to find out if there were any recommendations for a further playgroupy type thing to occupy our little balls of fire on another morning in the week one of the Mum’s hit the nail smack,bang on the head – “ The thing is as parents of twins we’re used to seeing our kids rough and tumble with one another and so don’t really worry about it too much here. At an ordinary playgroup the parents of a single child can get a bit over protective and you end up spending the whole session making sure they’re not being too rough with the other kids.” I looked over to see Alexandra haul Calder off the slide by his shirt collar, whimpered and sloped off to a corner to google local soft play centres, ideally with a bar.

Being newish I wasn’t aware that a local hairdresser pops into Twins Club on a regular basis. Unfortunately I’d just had Calder’s hair cut two weeks ago and so couldn’t make use of this facility today. Calder has now had 4 haircuts – Nana did the first one and then the hairdresser at the bottom of the road did a couple. The last one there wasn’t great but in all fairness, anyone would have thought that he had ants in his pants for all the fidgeting he did. This last time I took him to the in store barber at the local Tesco.( I’ll say it – I love that place!) The chap was great and understood my brief of “ get rid of the mullet but don’t give him a bowl cut.”

Well he wept and sobbed ( Calder not the barber) throughout the whole cut- but at least he sat still. Alexandra looked on the way a Bond villain might enjoy watching 007 struggle with another shark,but I couldn’t be too annoyed with the little chap as I’ve cried my way through a couple of bad haircuts myself in my time. I disappointed that we all didn’t get a lollipop when we were done and that was reflected in the tip that I didn’t leave – but it was a decent cut.We’ll try out the lady that comes to Twins Club next time.

Time to wrap it up again….

Came home from Twins Club,unpacked shopping,fed the little rascals some lunch and made a meatloaf for Daddies dinner. Had some lunch,tidied up and headed up to the office to get on with some writing.

Now I do love being Daddy to twins but the down side is that I very rarely get any one to one time with either which they both absolutely love. This afternoon Calder woke himself up crying and as Daddy Simon was on a call and not wanting to disturb Alexandra, I took him out his cot and into our bed and snuggled in until he had calmed himself and drifted back off to sleep. It was only ten minutes but I could have happily watch him slumber on until he woke up again.

Alexandra woke up whilst Daddy Simon was out and Calder was asleep in our room. She looked somewhat puzzled and pointed at the empty cot opposite and did a little “Calder?????” As he was still fast asleep Alexandra and I had a few minutes alone just chatting and cuddling in before Daddy Simon got back and her wee brother stirred. I do so love these wee characters.

The Meatloaf was blinking lovely and if nothing else had sprung to mind I would always have gone with one of his tracks as a title!

Our own little Goldilocks in Daddy Bears bed.

“Did you know that this is what the one with the funny accent used to do for work ?” “Well that would that would explain why we only get about five minutes to eat the luke warm slop that he dishes up and his general bad attitude to everything.”

2 thoughts on “Bad Influence – Pink.

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